Musical Influences and the Role They Have Played in my Life

For someone who was outcasted for most of her school life, I looked to other things to keep me company. Of course we know what happened with my friendship with food but I also had music that kept me hoping that there would be something better for my family and I. Being an artist, I have influences and no matter how cliche my preferences or why they were  chosen, they were my choice. 

The first true music I fell in love with was the pop group the Jonas Brothers. Once my mom passed away, they were the first subject matter that I began to draw. I had to have drawn the a 100 plus time and even had sketches that were auctioned off for my high school that make a good bit of money. I may have been a fan but I was more than that. Their music had meant more to me than any friendship could at the time.  I only have maybe 4 sketches out of all I had done due to the fire that took my family's house. Here they are:

..and yes the fire damage is clearly seen.

Once I woke and realized I needed to take control of my life, there was another artist who came into my life. He gave me hope for finding real love and acceptance. His name was David Archuleta.  Now, he was but a guy who had a way with words and the voice to get them across to the world. What made me realize that he was different was when he rode in a parade down here in New Orleans. Me being the portrait artist that I loved being, I drew a sketch of him and had the crazy idea that I would give it to him on the float. When we got to the parade, we sadly had missed him but my dad promised he'd take me to the end and give me another chance. Well, it was raining that night and they cut the route short. As soon as my dad parked, his float was passing. I had never ran so hard or fast in my life. I went around barricades and cops, wasn't stopped and he heard me yelling his name. Now, I was probably way over 300 pounds still and not the prettiest girl in the world. He bent over the back of the float and took it from me, smiled and even ignored some pretty, skinny girls yelling on the other side of the float. I literally stopped in my tracks in the middle of the street as he stared back at me as to thank me. I knew that night that I was meant to keep sketching and to make art. Here is the sketch:

Once I had met David, I was more and more into his music until I discovered, my now muse, Adam Lambert.  I had no idea who he was until I turned on VHI(when they still played music videos all day) and heard a voice I couldn't compare to anyone. I knew I had to look into this person. Once I started listening to his music, I realized that I had to meet him. Now, he has struggled with a lot of things and has overcome them all. Being gay and being accepted is still but a dream. People will always push him aside for it but I saw the person and heard the voice of a man with extraordinary talent. No other artist will sound like he does. He is a true original. Now back to what I was saying. I connected with him more and more as I learned a lot about him. He struggled with his weight all his life and finally took control. So when I first started exercising, his songs: "If I Had You" and "For Your Entertainment" were the only two songs I listened to. He was my only  friend yet we had never met. By the time my sister and I were able to go to one of his shows, I had lost almost 60 pounds. I was no longer in the 300s but high 200s. We were able to meet his lead guitarist, Tommy Joe Ratliff, who I also saw beauty in. 

When the night of the concert came, it just happened to be my sister's sweet 16. I did not expect all that happened to happen but I knew it was supposed to now.  I had also started writing songs for several artists. I did not know how to write music with musical notes but I was able to listen to an artist and by hearing the tones in their voices, I could write lyrics to a melody that I thought sounded perfect. I had drawn Adam probably 30 or  more times just up to that point and I had made one special sketch for him and one special sketch for Tommy. I knew that one of them had to get them. I also put my information and 5 songs with them for Adam. Now, before anyone else tries to shoot me down or take credit for my work, I have photographic proof. 

 

Here is the 7 photo sketch I did for Adam Lambert and each one has his eyes crystal blue.  I had my ways of choosing which seven to use but I had to make sure I did his eyes that gorgeous blue. He is such a beautiful person and his eyes cut right through you.

Thanks to Tommy being amazing, look what he did to help me out without realizing it! You can clearly see my large sketch that I did for Adam. I'm just hoping Adam does have it and the songs.

This is an edited picture of my sister, Kaitlyn, meeting Tommy. In his left hand you can see the envelope still. Now, my sister was able to partially talk to Adam through a 3 inch gap in the gate. All I remember him saying to her was that he couldn't come out there. He was so sweet but he did come out afterwards but we weren't able to get close enough. 

 

This is the sketch that I gave Tommy  that I sketched of him. It may not be my best but he loved it. My sis and I were also able to meet Monte and the dancers plus get their autographs. It was a great experience and it got even better when we actually went inside. 

Now me being my loud, crazy, self, did something I didn't realize that someone besides my sister had captured. When Adam was on his Glam Nation tour, and it came to the time when he'd sing Whataya Want From Me in acoustic, he'd speak a little to the crowd before he'd begin singing. I may have been rude, but, when he almost started crying when he mentioned being hurt while being in love, I screamed, "You're Beautiful!" I did not know that he had done two things that night until other videos from other fans were posted. My sis had recorded the night and posted separate videos for each song on youtube. Well, so did everyone else. We watched them all and when it came to that part, my heart sunk. He had heard me. He had looked up with those big beautiful eyes, said thank you then smiled an opened mouth smile so big. I then compared times in my sister's video with when it showed up in the others and it was me. I was the only one making noise besides him. He didn't even realize who I was but he smiled. He had my art, my music and no idea that he'd be my most influential inspiration. As he produced more and more music, I listened more and more....drawing more and more. I probably had done close to 50 or more pieces just of him in all kinds of sizes, mediums and subject matter.

One day, someone had contacted me from Donors Choose, a charity that Adam worked with a lot. It helps teachers out with classroom needs. I was asked to see if I could do a few small sketches of him for an auction. Now who has them? I do not know but here are photos of the sketches I could find:

 One day, I'd love  to find the owners of these sketches. I want to know if they love them and how much was donated from my work. It's just one of those things that you may never know. Oh well. 

With the house fire, I lost all of my art but maybe 10 or so full pieces. Here are the Adam and or Tommy sketches that made it:

So if the fire didn't burn the edges, the water made them smear or mold.....so the two on the left had to be thrown away. Yeah it's materialistic things but I put a lot of time, effort and heart into each piece.....I know I'm alive and I will continue to write and do my art pieces.  All of my poetry and songs didn't burn, but, the water damage did them in. 

So I'm literally starting all over mentally, physically, emotionally and it will take time for me to understand why all of this has happened but it was meant to happen.

Adam Lambert has new music and new songs coming out soon and I have been sketching him like crazy. He truly is my muse and he, as an artist overall, is a lot like me. That's probably why I feel like I have to meet him soon. Here are my latest pieces of art that I've done lately of him:

 Now, this piece below has  so much heart, time, effort and detail put into it that I have no other want than to give it to Adam Lambert himself. With all I've lost, I've realized, my art isn't for me. It's for the world. Since he is the subject matter, he truly should be the one to own it. I just hope I will meet him and be able to present this to him really soon. Until then, I will keep sketching him. I will never stop. I just know I am meant to be an artist. Not only a sketch artist, but an artist in every sense of the word. God has a plan for me and kept me on this earth for  reason. I'm ready to be his tool and I hope he uses me to help the world as much as possible.

..And as far as anyone is concerned with my love for the Jonas Brothers, their music isn't what it used to be but I will continue to sketch them as well:

God bless you all for reading this and supporting me. I hope my dreams finally come true. I need some good in my life. I want to be able to use my God given talents and gifts to better the world. 

-Kristen 

 

The Words of One

From a personal perspective, words can either help or hurt you. Also, the way we take what someone says can also affect how we feel. A compliment that is two sided can either make you smile or cry on the inside. All it takes, though, is one person to be brutally honest with you for you to know what is real and what is just lies or jealousy. After having a week of being either sick, aching, or depressed, someone made it all turn completely around. I just wish I was able to have done it on my own.  

Support can come in several different forms. It can be a best friend, a gym partner, a counselor, a doctor, etc. When the time comes and you really talk to someone, it can truly change your outlook of your whole current situation. Well, with me having a rough week, I needed something to come along and just shake me out of it. This came in the form of the personal trainer at the Planet Fitness where I go. Her name is Shannon. I never really talked to her other than to say hi on most meetings. She is very busy and i am super focused while I workout. When I went in after work yesterday, she stopped me. She wanted to tell me that she had seen my progress over the two years that I had been going there. She had no idea how far I had come. She just wanted to let me know that i was doing well. So, this ignited a whole conversation that ended up lasting at least 20 minutes. I showed her a few of my before and after photos and she was amazed. She asked me a lot of questions including why did I decide to take control of my life, what I first did, how heavy I was and now, plus a lot about my nutrition.  

The thing she said that touched me the most was that I was genuine and that she could tell that I was serious with how I could so easily talk about it all. She knew that I knew what I was talking about and she saw that I was in a better place with not focusing on a number but overall composition. I truly felt in the right place at the right time while talking to her. Not many people have that strong of an effect on me but she did, Her father, whom I've also talked to a lot, goes to the gym and is a body builder. He and I speak a lot about the whole aspect of healthy living and our conversations are deep as well. You just have to open up to people when you feel you should. As soon as i said how heavy I knew myself to be(might have been heavier) she wanted to see my progress photos. It gives the person asking questions even more of a perspective as to why someone does what they do. She now knows and understands that I'm working on tightening up the loose skin. I even told her a few of the max weights I do on a few exercises and she was impressed. 

The thing about all of this is that Planet Fitness is where I was always meant to be. I wish I had started there years ago. I've needed the support, the new friends who share the same interest and the ability to relieve stress in a productive way. It is fun for me and a way for me to healthily improve myself as a whole. I know my confidence has improved a lot as well. Once you find where you belong, you'll know. Being accepted and not being judged just helps me to work harder. What motivates you? Answer that and you will be able to do anything you put your mind to.